Her Name is Worthy

Her name is Worthy, you know.

She is a daughter, a mother, a sister, a friend.

Mixed in all of those things, though, is Worthy.

I've been looking at my daughter a lot lately, as every new mom should, and I can't help but see her worth. She has a smile that lights up the darkest rooms (and hearts) and can bait you with one swish of her long eye lashes. She is special, full of purpose, and she MATTERS.


To me her name is Worthy.

So is my name. I see that when I look at her.

So is your name. I see that when I look at her, too.

It's amazing to me that such a little human can teach so many lessons to this Momma heart. When I look at her I want her to feel loved, to feel wanted, to feel important. Her response to those things show's me that I am those things to her. Her love for me makes me want more for her. I want people to always treat her kindly to always scream "BABY YOU ARE WORTH IT!"


But then I think... Worth what??


What is she teaching me that she, myself, and you are worthy of?


We are worthy of pursuit, my friend. We shouldn't be the only ones reaching out to relationships with no reciprocation. We shouldn't feel disposable or only worth love when it's convenient or when we are useful.


We are worthy of relationships. I find that we don't always accept that when we consider our age, our perspective of beauty, financial status, etc. I'm a daughter and I'm worthy of pursuit by my parents. Harper is a granddaughter and she is worthy of pursuit by her grandparents. You and I are friends to people- and it's okay to expect people to be friends to us in response.


We are also worthy of time. Time for visits and time for phone calls. I know schedules can be busy (believe me, my schedule is so crazy right now I can barely stand it) but the point of schedules is to SCHEDULE. Plan time for people. Call someone in the car driving. Plan time to do a drive-by-drop-off of something that says, "Hey, I love you even though I'm busy."
Life can make time investments difficult. We don't have a car right now and figuring out how to rent cars to see family, take an Uber when someone has a birthday isn't easy (and sometimes it's not possible.) But I can call, I can text, I can send a gift and let them know I value them and AS SOON AS I AM ABLE they are at the top of my scheduling priorities. Because they have worth to me I will make it happen- it may take money to get to them but I'm going to get to them. In the mean time, though, they are more than welcome to come to me (and they should try. It's okay for me to expect them to try.) They are worthy of that. I am worthy of that. Harper is worthy of that. YOU are worthy of that.


I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not okay to accept the 90% give and 10% take. Not in the important relationships. I can't deny that there are people in my world that are takers. They don't call unless called. They don't respond to texts often and when they do it's very little. They don't check up, they don't check-in, they just don't. It didn't seem to matter as much before.


But today... Today it does.


I looked at my daughter today and my heart was heavy. Heavy because there are people that should be calling to ask about her, wanting to see her pictures, wanting to FaceTime and listen to her "talk" or cry. People should be buying her pointless gifts because they were thinking about her. Her name should be Worthy to them. Today, however, I realized it wasn't. You know why it wasn't? Because. Of. Me.


Because of me people don't pursue her. I thought a lack of pursuit of me was okay until I realized that. 


Friend... it isn't.


It isn't okay that people don't want to reciprocate relationship efforts. It's not okay because of Harper. AND it's not okay because of me.


Harper's name is Worthy, but so is mine.


So. Is. Yours.


We can't let ourselves only give 90% forever. At some point we need to evaluate. Relationships matter and we need to give, and I will teach my daughter to give. I will also teach her that there are some relationships that you should be receiving from as well- you are worth that.

Dear ladies (and gents),

Let the fact that we show others value remind us that we have value as well. Scripture spells out that we have worth, that we matter, and we should be valued. I'm sorry that other's don't always see it. I see it. Maybe if we start to see it in each other then we will start to recognize it in ourselves.

Dear receivers of our love,

Don't take us for granted. My heart, my daughters heart, is worth your pursuit. It's not that hard. A text, a call, a response; it's just not that difficult. If you love me then love me. If you don't then help me know to shift my primary focus to the ones who do.

Let me be clear- I know that many times our lives require us to be self-sacrificing, to serve, and to love with no expectation. That's not the relationships I'm speaking of today. Today I'm talking about the friends, the parents, the grandparents, the siblings. We all know who we are in this scenario. If we are the 10% let's give more. If we are the 90% let's evaluate, communicate, and readjust. Let's remember each others worth, folks. It really shouldn't be that hard.


I'm looking at my daughter again. Trust me, when it comes to us, if you aren't looking at her too, if you aren't pursuing her, then you are missing out. She is the greatest. I'll never let her believe otherwise.

Introducing a Miracle: Harper Riah Craig

 
 

 

 

Oh man!

I'm still in awe that I'm writing this post. It seems like the most beautiful dream- if it is don't wake me up.

As I write this I'm holding the sweetest, most lovely, full of life little girl I've ever laid eyes on. She's my daughter.

DID YOU SEE WHAT I WROTE THERE?!

My. Daughter.

My two month old reminder of God's unfailing love and faithfulness.

I can't help but cry when I say those words. My greatest dream, my hearts cry, is in my arms. That's a faithfulness I've yet to grasp. All I can say to it is- God, you are SO good. SO SO good.

I can think of a bajillion things to say about her and I'm sure I will in the future. But today I will let her pictures speak for themselves.

Without further ado:

Harper Riah Craig



She has the LONGEST eye-lashes, prettiest blue eyes, her momma's nose and MAN you should see her SMILE.



You can't tell me that God isn't in the details. Look at these

Pretty in Blue. PS. That's momma's shirt! How cool!

Before the last two I have to say this:

We weren't sure how we were going to do newborn pictures for this angel because of finances- but this momma's heart felt like it was so important to get them. I was on the couch one night in tears talking to God, as a daughter to her Father, telling Him how heavy my heart was about the whole situation. The following week while at a Pastor's conference a woman offered to do Harper's newborn photos. Little did I know she was an EXCEPTIONAL photographer. There are more pictures coming but you should go check out her photography, like her page, and recommend her. We plan to drive the 2 hours to get to her studio from our house for our pictures from now on. What she did has touched our hearts deeper than she will ever know.

Look her up at: J. Renee Photography

facebook.com/J.ReneePhoto

Now for the final two. Harper truly is an angel.

I'm certain Heaven is still more real to her than anything on Earth. My job, for her whole life, will be to help that ALWAYS be her reality.

Thank you for loving my family so well, for praying for Harper before she ever came, and wanting to know her even now. We are so blessed!

Feel free to leave her a comment or shoot us an email. I'll read every one to her.

Our email is Danielle.n.craig@gmail.com

      



Pure love right there, folks. In the most stunning package.



A Letter to My Daughter

Dearest Miracle,

It almost seems silly to write to you now when it will be years (maybe decades) before you will ever fully understand the weight of the words flowing from my heart to yours. I hope when you read this that you will have years of long hugs, slobbery kisses, and tangible love to look back on and all of those memories will flood your mind and bring to life with such vividness the depth of my love for you- and that these words embrace each memory and make them that much richer.

It's hard to believe that for 40 weeks it was just you and me. We learned so much about each other simply through feeling the feelings only a mother and her baby could share. You learned of my fear and you patiently fluttered in my belly to reassure me that God only gives good gifts and you would be the best. With each slight movement, each not so gentle reminder that came through sickness, you reminded me that fear was a lie and love really is the truth. My darling, you were love to me. The type of love that conquers fears without a single word- just existence. I learned of you the depth of your persistence. In spite of the stresses of my world you were determined to stay constant and keep growing, You never gave into the weight the world tried to put on us. Your strength made me stronger. You felt me let go of my control and surrender to the unknown journey of motherhood. I felt grace through you because of your patience. You are so small and teach me so much. You are remarkable.

I can't deny that I'm looking forward to the moment I meet you but a silent sadness is attached. I've been so fortunate to have you to myself. Sure, I shared my belly with your Daddy and he so sweetly talks to you and sings for you, but you have been all mine. We have shared food, shared stories, shared quiet moments where I had to work out my own process of letting go of life before you and embracing something that is so hard to understand- motherhood. For 40 weeks we've been each others and the day you are born you meet a world that loves you and I begin my process of learning to let go. Learning to share you. I'm thankful because it will be slow at first. But I will feel it. My prayer is that it won't be so obvious to you (though with the amount of love that's waiting for you I doubt it will even hit you.) Oh how I want you to feel loved. But, my dear, me loving you means trusting that your life is forever moving forward and I have to trust God with that. I had no idea that lesson would start so early. I think I may miss you already.

I can't help but think of how you have already brought healing to places of my heart. Places that I thought didn't have the option to be healed are being healed simply because you exist. You, daughter, are a healer. Because of you the only person in my world with the title Momma will be me to you. I didn't realize how precious it was that I saved that name, that I guarded that title, after my momma passed. It's so humbling that I get to decide what Momma looks like now... and you, sweet girl, get to help me. That's a more precious endeavor than anything I could have imagined before you.

Before you death was loud in my world. I felt overwhelmed with loss and was beginning to lose hope in what living actually looked like. You are vibrantly reminding me that not only is death a part of life, life is a part of life too. You, little one, have caused mountains of grief to crumble with one little kick. How mighty you are!

You've taught me that loving you isn't effort. It's instinct, primal- it's natural. You needed the best of me and without hesitation my body gave it to you. I was created to love you- past emotion, past cognition, past myself. Everything about me was created to give you all the good I have at the expense of everything I need.
That's a love only you could have shown me.

My daughter, you are the most beautiful painting of God's faithfulness, unbridled hope, and unconditional love. For my whole life I will stand amazed at the masterpiece of you, Harper Riah Craig. You're something I will never in a million years deserve but for infinity will love. Being your mommy my be the most confusing grace I will have ever experienced.

Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you! You are so loved.

Forever yours,
Mommy

Unpopular Isolation: My Journey to Discover Where I Stand

Refuge: a condition of being safe or sheltered from pursuit, danger, or trouble

I hesitate to write this. I hesitate not because of fear of my thoughts but pre-felt heartbreak at what I assume will not be kind responses.  

  

But today I sat at the table with my husband and asked this question: 

        

What if I find that the culture of the Kingdom is different than both? Do I stay silent? Do I have a place to fit in?" 

  

I'm not sure if I've fully found where I stand but I know this journey isn't leading me down a very comfortable road. It's challenging me in real places of fear and my own wisdom and what I'm seeing is God doesn't think like me... and He doesn't want me to think like me. 

  

Before I move forward I hope you will hear me. I would never write something with the intent to condemn anyone, judge anyone, or cause more division. If there is anything I've learned from Jesus it's that we need less boundaries between us. We need less boundaries between us within the church and we need less boundaries between us and the world. We are set a part but we are to be accessible, slow to anger, quick to love. What I'm writing in these next few paragraphs isn't meant to harm it's meant to challenge. Challenge me. Challenge you.  

Challenge us to question our wisdom and evaluate our words. Determine where we really stand. 

Also know this. I'm willing to be challenged myself. I can only offer what I've read and maybe I am limited. Challenge me- kindly please. Offer your counters. But know this, I'm not interested in your opinions even though I respect them. If I'm to be a believer I need to know what God says even above you and your wisdom of things of this world that probably surpass my wisdom. I'm not afraid to be proven wrong- I am afraid of believing wrong. Lives are in the balance and how I believe and my ultimate response to those beliefs are directly related to those lives. 

  

Friday night a greater spotlight was shed on an issue that has been circulating our society since 9/11. War and fighting has been going on since then and we are seeing one of the greatest threats we have ever known (at least in my lifetime) grow in number and voice and seemingly strength. This past week my home has been full of dialogue. Being pregnant, and I'm sure parents all over can relate, fear gripped me. Even guilt gripped me. I don't want our daughter growing up in scary times. I don't want danger near her. I want to know how we are going to protect her. How am I going to keep her, my husband, and our family safe? This was a real question for me. I didn't know how to answer it. I looked at the devastation that occurred in Paris and felt helpless- what if that happens here? 

  

I looked at my husband and wanted him to answer me. Tell me he knew the answers. He didn't. As I struggled with these thought's throughout the next few days he and I began reading articles and seeing new stories being circulated. Honestly, we already knew things were not good overseas, I even wrote about it a while back. We have friends whose churches were aiding the refugee crisis. But all of the sudden these things were being questioned. Should we as Americans help? How much help? 

  

I couldn't answer.  

  

All of the sudden the welfare of these faceless and nameless people, people who don't look, think, believe, or even speak like me, seemed a little too intrusive to my comfort. This is America- land of the free and my freedom felt like it was in jeopardy because what if someone masquerading as a victim is really the villain. That's not a risk I want to take. 

  

I wanted to leave my thoughts there. They aren't my responsibility. They aren't my brothers, my sisters, my nieces or nephews. They aren't my friends. But I couldn't shake this lingering thought that I was missing something. Something wasn't right about what I was accepting. 

  

Then a friend of mine posted an article from Relevant Magazine. It was very simple and included 12 verses that discussed what scripture says about foreigners and those seeking refuge.  

These words hit me: 

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise." (Luke 10:36-37) 

I'm right, they aren't my friends or my brothers or sisters. The question was never who they were to me. It was always about who I am to the world. I am THEIR neighbor.  

  

Reading these 12 scriptures (and mind you I realize that it's only 12 but I haven't read 1 that contradicts them or discredits them- I've seen no exceptions) made me realize that I have it all wrong. I'm looking at these people like they have to be something, believe something, or do something that merits them my aid or my service. Christ's mandate to the church was never that the world earn anything- it was that the world could never earn grace or mercy but that we should give it anyway. 

  

Everything about walking out our lives as believers trumps what it means to walk out our lives as Americans. I am proud to be an American but in the most patriotic way I am more of a citizen of the Kingdom of God than of the U.S. Neither negates the other but one DEFINITELY trumps the other. 

  

I find that we believers pray that God would once again reign as the center of our nation- that our values would once again be based off of the principals of the Bible. Are we sure? Because a lot of what I read challenges our American ideals. It requires selflessness. It demands we put down decisions out of fear and do what scripture illustrates- even at the expense of ourselves. Biblical values are not easy and the require a lot of sacrifice and very little (if any) room for selfishness or self preservation. Jesus was all about our good at His expense and then said you do what I do. 

  

I don't want to assume the position of a political person. I'm far from it. But I do want to be a good picture of who Jesus is to a world who DESPERATELY needs Him. I have to believe that if God said to embrace the foreigner and do good to them that it's because the benefits there are eternal for both parties and the consequences of not are equally eternal for both parties.  

  

I'd rather be found obedient and trust that God would honor me there then be found safe and look as if I'm ashamed of the Gospel that really is good news for ALL people- Jew and Gentile, slave or free.  

  

These ideas are hard and I never wanted to be the person to present them. To be the presenter of ideas that challenge two different cultures is scary- but to be quiet is cowardliness. I will be no coward. 

  

I don't know the remedy here, friends. I don't know the solutions. But I know that citizenship of country and citizenship of kingdom can no longer be separate. Our ideals and beliefs have to come from scripture. Only then are we truly looking out for the best interest of our families and our nation and ultimately the world. It was never easy being a follower of Jesus but the benefits were never meant to be here on earth anyway.  

I pray the church really does rise up. That we truly become the voice of Jesus and a loving God to a world who feels He is so opposite. I pray that kingdom culture be the thing that turns the hearts of generations back to the Father. And I pray that starts with us- putting down our swords and fear filled words and embracing faith and love and the nature of the one who saved us and set the example. 

  

The solution is in there- in being true disciples. Not just the solution for us but the solution for humanity. That solution really is Jesus anyway, right? So that makes sense. 

I'll leave you with this...

When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. (Leviticus 19:33-34)