But, occasionally, I would like to ask PEOPLE why.
I'll never get the answers I want and more likely than not I probably won't even get an answer. But for the sake of myself and this post lets pretend that I'm looking in the face of those I want answers from and I finally ask.
The question that burns most (although there are many) is this: Why did you take me in just to throw me away?
I can guarantee that's a question many people speaking from their inner child ask of those who should've always been there...
We want to know why our dads walked out or why our moms chose other men and failed to realize the depth of love our tiny hearts held for the two people that made us. We blindly claimed you- yet you made us and thought mainly about yourself.
I ask that question, just like many others, of my dad. To this day there is a longing in my heart for a fathers love, but no father to fill it.
We sometimes ask this question to those that took us in. Guardians, foster parents, adoptive parents...
Children who have an open heart to receive love, however, it seems there is an expectation to earn it.
I ask that question of them to. I would never want to hurt anyone or victimize myself by naming names and pointing fingers... But maybe in the most kind, yet honest way it's time.
It's time to call out the parents whether birth or by circumstance... Maybe your child is still a child or they are a grown adult...
Don't forsake. Don't condemn. Don't neglect.
Because we children become parents one day. We need to know what a parent actually looks like. And it's YOUR mission/destiny/assignment to show us.
No free passes and no exceptions.
This post may never reach the eyes of those it is intended for (and it's the first post actually INTENDED for specific people) BUT for the eyes it reaches whether you be a parent or a one day parent...
Remember the weight of your calling as a momma or a daddy. Remember that you may see a child now but your raising up someone who is to care for your grandchildren and generations to come. Mold them, teach them, stay with them, and above all LOVE them- even when they are hard to love. Because, you parents were hard to love at one point too.
And to those of us whose parents didn't have someone to call them out and tell them to do better... Let US do better. Let's raise generations after us to know what we didn't know. Unmerited love, and unquestionable stability. Whether our home is filled with children we birth or ones we choose to bring in- may we show children that love is a free gift and our hearts are big enough to embrace them- flaws and all- for their WHOLE life.
Let us show the next generation the love of Jesus. And let that show the generation above us what's to be gained when they do the same.
And, my prayer is that our hearts will embrace grace towards the ones who chose not to be stable for us, that we may be stable in love for them.
My heart is heavy for those who may be asking this question. May The Lord show and make real to you the weight of His love and the desire to be your mother and your father. Embrace Him as Dad and let Him heal your broken places. He will. I know because He continues to do it in me.
And above all...
To you children (or to your inner child) know you are worth more than you were given. And that there is one who lavishes love freely. And it's not too late to feel it!
Honestly, I don't know how to end this post. I've told myself countless times I'd never write anything like it. But why write if you can't be honest?
I hope this helped more than just me. But if it didn't, at least it was finally said. And for me... Right now... That's all that mattered.
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