The Theology of Cinderella

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

*Sigh

Today is just one of those days. You know what I’m talking about, right? The kind of day that you just sit back and stare at your work and think… I’d rather be doing a million and one other things besides this today.

That’s me. Oh GOODNESS is that me today!

But that got me thinking… or (because I’m feeling kind of in the mood for Disney)… it got me dreaming…

I love my job. It’s wonderful and stable and a blessing because I get to be home every day and feel like I’m a stay at home wife while having the opportunity to help contribute financially to my family in the process. Not a lot of people get to do that. I recognize the blessing it is.

BUT… I don’t want to be doing this forever. And today, all I can think about is what I really want to do with my life. There is a scripture in Ecclesiastes that has a blurb in it that says “… He has planted eternity in the human heart…”
Growing up in a Pastors home meant hearing that scripture dozens of times. And when I was out on my own and facing a lot of the new types of trials that come along I focused a lot on that scripture, well the first part at least. However, in this time of my life, it’s that second part (the blurb I mentioned) that has my attention.

I’m beginning to understand from that simple scripture that my purpose, my mission, or (for the sake of today’s blog) my dreams were planted in my heart before I was even born. And lately, the realization that if He put it there then it HAS to happen has been incredibly humbling. I can rest easy and hope freely knowing that my dreams are more real than my reality. What a paradigm!!

So… today… as I finish my work up and start my weekend I will be channeling my inner Cinderella (she’s my fave!). I’ll take care of my duties for the day humming the little diddy “If you keep on believing
the dreams that you wish will come true.”

Thanks for the pep talk, Cinderella.


(For those of you interested in the full scripture I referenced above check out Ecclesiastes 3:11 “Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”)

Thank God for Pandora

Isaiah 12:5 “Sing praise-songs to God. He’s done it all!
Let the whole earth know what he’s done!
Raise the roof! Sing your hearts out, O Zion!
The Greatest lives among you: The Holy of Israel.”




True Story: I seem to only be able to write anything when I'm listening to music. And it's easy to tell what kind of music I listen to when I write because somehow the genre of music will come out in my writing. Today I decided to listen to my "Jesus Culture" station on Pandora. That's the one that really moves my heart... It has a tendency to take me deeper into worship than most of the other Christian genre stations I listen to. Personal preference is all that is...


Anywho... It has seemed to spark this next entry...


I tossed around a lot of different topic ideas going on in my head, but I think I need this one today. I need it for me... So here is the subject (I think it's going to kick my butt):


Worship.


....


I'm a believer. I believe that the God of the universe sent His son Jesus to Earth to be my teacher, and my savior. He conquered a lot for me, for you.
(Now wait... don't take this post as one of those cliché infomercials for Jesus. He is worth any post fully dedicated to Him, but that's not where this is heading. This is just me building the foundation. I guess softening you and myself up for the... punch in the face... so to speak. Curious?? You should be)


I've, for the better part of my walk with God, been pulled closer to Him and pushed farther away from things that are temporary and not really relevant by music that's pointing to His heart. I started learning to play piano at 13 just so I didn't have to rely on other's music. I wanted to be able to fully engage in that intimate time with God just myself and Him. It worked, too. There has always been something profoundly special about the depth of connection I've been able to make with Him during those passionate and powerful musical connections.


The subject of worship was my first sermon. The first thing I got behind a pulpit and taught about.


Something happened...


That realization that "I'm a believer... He conquered a lot for me..." disappeared. I forgot, or turned my head.


I let worship become a job. If I was being honest (and I think I am) playing keys and singing felt like it was becoming a chore. Monday night practices and extra early Sunday mornings. I felt like my job was more entertainment for others rather than intimate time with God. Don't get me wrong... I knew the words I was singing and I meant them. I sang TO God every Sunday. But, in my experience, true worship is different. When I'm worshiping it's not just me singing to God but Him singing back to me. Healing my broken place, igniting that passion again and again and again, giving me direction.


Worship is deeper.


And I miss the depth.


I want every bit of my focus for practices, Sunday mornings, and quiet worship times at home, to be on The One who conquered a lot for me. I want to tell Him I'm sorry for getting caught up. For being insincere and distracted. But now, when I worship, He says there’s no need. He says to just move forward. That's His song back to me right now.


And that makes me want to worship Him more... and provoke worship in others.


Because He IS conquering a lot in me. I am forever grateful.





How has music, specifically worship changed your life?

All of this from a Storm and a Candle

Psalms 138:8. "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands."


This summer has been particular rainy here in Jax. It seems like there isn't a day that goes by when there isn't at least a drizzle or the sound of thunder not too far off. And, don't get me wrong, I appreciate rain. It makes things green and beautiful which is one of my most favorite things about Florida. Most importantly it cools things off... and when it's averaging between 95-100 degrees everyday I'm first in line doing a rain dance. Ha!

But, with the rain has come some pretty nasty storms. Nothing serious but, being that my husband and I live in a cute little barn converted into a cabin, the storms are enough to rattle the walls a bit when it thunders. I'm totally fine with that as long as he is home... I guess somehow, in my brain, I figure if the storm gets too bad he can just hold all the walls up so I'll be safe (he is my protector, right? It's not too much to ask for him to be my personal live-in super man... is it?) However, the other day while working in "my office" a storm hit. Super Man (or Cyler as I fondly refer to him) was busy saving the world in Jacksonville at his office so I had to fend for myself on the home front. Terrifying, right?! Don't worry, I managed. BUT... You will never guess what happened....

It stormed so bad the power went OUT! Yea... I know. AND, get this, it looked like it was night outside. And we don't have a lot of windows so imagine how dark it was inside. I had just enough battery on my cell to turn on the flashlight and find some candles and light them. I was fine after that. I just took a nap until the power came back on. All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful day.

Something happened though... It didn't hit me at first. Really I didn't think about it until a few weeks later (we'll call that yesterday). I was fine when all the candles were lit but I started out with just one candle. A tea light candle. That thing didn't give off much light at all. Like, I could barely see what was in front of me. It wasn't as easy navigating that way, and I know my house and how it's laid out...

Lately, or more specifically the past 2 1/2 years, have been an interesting point in my life. Most people wouldn't know the internal battle that's been going on, and that was how I wanted it. I let life and the circumstances and words being thrown my way really effect me. Most people were trying to help, or trying to be a voice for God in my life but they were speaking and doing off of what they were seeing instead of what they were hearing from the heart of a Father. So, I began the process of... well whatever this is...

Looking back I know now that God never left even when I thought He did or I thought He should have. I was really angry about a lot of things and I thought ministry (the ministry that I knew I was called to) wasn't for me. I didn't feel qualified and honestly, I didn't want it. It was hard and painful. So, I turned my light switch off. I let my power go out. If I were telling you the truth, when I was in the middle of that season I didn't think I was on track for my Destiny at all. God and I, we talked. I loved Him... I just didn't appreciate the cards I was being dealt. ESPECIALLY when I was fighting so hard to hold on to faith.

The coolest thing, though, is I see now I never walked away from my Destiny. I was being refined to be more effective. I allowed my power to go out so to speak. But God, He is awesome, because He saw it coming and had the candle ready. He lit it. I know now that I was never in the dark. I just couldn't see far ahead.

I still feel like I'm navigating my Destiny by candle light. I don't see everything in front of me and I don't know how much ground I've covered but I know that I've covered ground and I've grown a lot. And soon maybe the lamp will be turned on so I can see how far I've really made it. All in all, I'm fine with whatever.

Today, the candle light is keeping me focused, and I SO need that. So, for now, I'm holding onto a simple verse from Psalms 138:8. "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." I'm thankful that He has a plan.

I pray I become a more yielded daughter. That the passion of salvation grows in my heart again. More than anything I want to make my Daddy happy. To bring a smile to His face. Even to the ends of the earth... by the light of a candle.

Have you ever had a season or span of time in your life where you felt like candle light walking was what you had to work with? How did you feel?