All of this from a Storm and a Candle

Psalms 138:8. "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands."


This summer has been particular rainy here in Jax. It seems like there isn't a day that goes by when there isn't at least a drizzle or the sound of thunder not too far off. And, don't get me wrong, I appreciate rain. It makes things green and beautiful which is one of my most favorite things about Florida. Most importantly it cools things off... and when it's averaging between 95-100 degrees everyday I'm first in line doing a rain dance. Ha!

But, with the rain has come some pretty nasty storms. Nothing serious but, being that my husband and I live in a cute little barn converted into a cabin, the storms are enough to rattle the walls a bit when it thunders. I'm totally fine with that as long as he is home... I guess somehow, in my brain, I figure if the storm gets too bad he can just hold all the walls up so I'll be safe (he is my protector, right? It's not too much to ask for him to be my personal live-in super man... is it?) However, the other day while working in "my office" a storm hit. Super Man (or Cyler as I fondly refer to him) was busy saving the world in Jacksonville at his office so I had to fend for myself on the home front. Terrifying, right?! Don't worry, I managed. BUT... You will never guess what happened....

It stormed so bad the power went OUT! Yea... I know. AND, get this, it looked like it was night outside. And we don't have a lot of windows so imagine how dark it was inside. I had just enough battery on my cell to turn on the flashlight and find some candles and light them. I was fine after that. I just took a nap until the power came back on. All in all, I'd say it was a pretty successful day.

Something happened though... It didn't hit me at first. Really I didn't think about it until a few weeks later (we'll call that yesterday). I was fine when all the candles were lit but I started out with just one candle. A tea light candle. That thing didn't give off much light at all. Like, I could barely see what was in front of me. It wasn't as easy navigating that way, and I know my house and how it's laid out...

Lately, or more specifically the past 2 1/2 years, have been an interesting point in my life. Most people wouldn't know the internal battle that's been going on, and that was how I wanted it. I let life and the circumstances and words being thrown my way really effect me. Most people were trying to help, or trying to be a voice for God in my life but they were speaking and doing off of what they were seeing instead of what they were hearing from the heart of a Father. So, I began the process of... well whatever this is...

Looking back I know now that God never left even when I thought He did or I thought He should have. I was really angry about a lot of things and I thought ministry (the ministry that I knew I was called to) wasn't for me. I didn't feel qualified and honestly, I didn't want it. It was hard and painful. So, I turned my light switch off. I let my power go out. If I were telling you the truth, when I was in the middle of that season I didn't think I was on track for my Destiny at all. God and I, we talked. I loved Him... I just didn't appreciate the cards I was being dealt. ESPECIALLY when I was fighting so hard to hold on to faith.

The coolest thing, though, is I see now I never walked away from my Destiny. I was being refined to be more effective. I allowed my power to go out so to speak. But God, He is awesome, because He saw it coming and had the candle ready. He lit it. I know now that I was never in the dark. I just couldn't see far ahead.

I still feel like I'm navigating my Destiny by candle light. I don't see everything in front of me and I don't know how much ground I've covered but I know that I've covered ground and I've grown a lot. And soon maybe the lamp will be turned on so I can see how far I've really made it. All in all, I'm fine with whatever.

Today, the candle light is keeping me focused, and I SO need that. So, for now, I'm holding onto a simple verse from Psalms 138:8. "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." I'm thankful that He has a plan.

I pray I become a more yielded daughter. That the passion of salvation grows in my heart again. More than anything I want to make my Daddy happy. To bring a smile to His face. Even to the ends of the earth... by the light of a candle.

Have you ever had a season or span of time in your life where you felt like candle light walking was what you had to work with? How did you feel?