Who are You REALLY??

For just a minute I need you to do something for me.

I want you to pretend to look in a mirror. I want you to stand there and look at yourself and think of all of the things that you say you are. Think of all of the postives, whether that be looks, intelligence, skill sets, etc. I want you to think of all of the negatives, maybe too heavy or too thin, maybe internal negatives- I'm dishonest at times, or I'm not very clean and organized. Think of the roles you play. Perhaps you are a mom or a dad, sister or brother, pastor or teacher, business person or day laborer. Now think of the roles you signed up for, something like a mentor or spiritual father/mother. Maybe a friend to the person who has no friends. Maybe you volunteer in the community or you're an advocate for racial tensions to be ending.

Have you gotten all of YOU in the picture yet?? Now hold those thoughts....

Some of the things that we see in the mirror come easy to us. We each have something that falls into all of those categories, but some really come super easy.

Some of us were born to be a spouse. We just rock that role like nobodies business. But others of us didn't grow up understanding what a functional marriage looks like so we have to work a tooshies off to learn to be a better wife/husband.

I'd say we all have several things in our negative categories. Some of us aren't aware of our flaws often so we don't work on them. Some of us are exceptionally aware of our negative qualities and we work on self improvement.

A lot of us fail to look at positives. But, dearies, they are there. You HAVE a lot of positive qualities. Embrace those bad boys. Now, don't get big headed and arrogant (which sometimes is easy to do when we realize how awesome we really are... lol) but seriously- embrace the good things about yourself. Jesus does.

The category I really want to focus on today, though. The one that I think is overlooked most and probably affects the most people- the roles we sign up for.

I think we (meaning humanity as a whole) are really flippant about things we say we are willing to be for other people. Whether it be people as in a person or people as in a community or a nation.

I want to pose a question: Are we who we tell people we are.

I wonder, even upon self evaluation, am I telling people who I WILL be to them or who I WANT them to think/see me being to them.

If anyone has read the post Coffee With Mom you know that I lost my mom. You also know that there is a void in my heart for a mother figure. I've had women who have heard that story and told me they felt like God (or themselves) was leading them to be a mother to me...

They are long gone now. Do you know that the most hurtful thing is when those people, even though they meant well, didn't follow through with their words. My heart still aches (and in some cases still holds anger) towards those women.

But it happens all the time. We volunteer to fill holes and roles in peoples lives without really considering if we will be consistent and follow through and live out FULLY the commitment we make.

Now, here is my challenge: BE who you say you will be for people. If people are accepting you in a certain role in their life it's most likely because there is a void there. If you can't be faithful to that void... don't offer to fill it. Offer what you CAN and are WILLING to do.

Second challenge. If you find that you've made commitments to people to be something they needed and you realize you can't or haven't been faithful to that commitment- apologize. Through text/phone call/over coffee. Because, most likely, they've already noticed you haven't honored your word. Be a positive part of their life and healing process. And by simply acknowledging our humanity we can change a hurt to a learning and healing moment.

So to all my advocates, spiritual parents, mentors, and community leaders- thanks for what you do. May we all work harder to be better in these rolls and be more consistent and honest about who we are and who we can be to others.

Have you ever made commitments to fill roles in peoples lives and fallen through? Have you ever been with the person with the void that wasn't filled? How has that affected you?

****** Everyone!! I'm so happy to announce that I've created a Facebook account so that everyone can keep up with new posts and updates about the book I'm currently writing. Just follow the link and like the page. And thanks again for reading! My little family is so blessed by you- by your words, shares, and just the simple fact that you read this blog. THANK YOU! I just love you guys!!******

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